Are you saying ‘yes’, when you need ‘no’?

Are you listening to what you truly need and following through?

Recently, I fell into an old pattern and jumped in before I could catch it.

There was a part of me wanting to connect in community and create a valuable full moon sound journey experience. I could see it unfolding and it got me excited. What I didn’t listen to though was my intuition and all of my needs. I had set previous intentions for the week and this took me out of that.

The next day the sound journey circle was in motion and I could feel something was off. I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew I made a mistake.

Do you ever say yes, when you need no? Do you say yes, then later realize it is a no? Do you struggle to even say no?

This is something I see myself and clients get caught in, the “yes/no” conundrum. Perhaps we grew up feeling we needed to say yes to be included, needed, and from a deeper lens, loved. Perhaps saying no feels like you are putting someone else out of the way, and that is uncomfortable or “wrong”.

Do you relate?

So I ask myself, why did I act?

By a need to be of service and give value (prove my worth), to feel connection in community (to belong), and to not miss out on an opportunity (fear of missing out).

It all stemed from deeper needs trying to be met.

The biggest realization here… I looked outside of me to have my needs met, when really, if I paid attention to myself first, I could tend to these needs with conscious intention, and not feel compelled to act.

But it takes noticing. It requires me to pause and check in, listen to all of my needs, what’s truly important, and not just get caught up in the “old” ways of trying to meet my needs.

We are moving through changing times, and with that we also need to change.

We need to learn to say “no” outside, when we need an inside “yes”. (This is big as we approach the holidays.) Notice when we need to receive, rather than give, and when giving is actually in alignment.

I feel we are opening up to a deeper connection with ourselves, with our sensitive selves, and with it, we need to tend to ourselves in ways we maybe haven’t been accustomed to, which might be uncomfortable at first.

I’ve never cancelled an event that was bursting with people wanting to attend, but I knew I couldn’t do it. My body was saying “no”.

We need to slow down, listen to our inner voice, and actually honour it. We can’t bypass our needs and our compromise ourselves anymore.

It can be a challenging lesson, especially when our body rebels and makes us slow down, then we no longer get that choice, (I ended up in bed early Friday, I needed rest most). But it doesn’t have to be that way, we can learn to honour, listen, and respect ourselves first.

I invite you to listen. Pay attention to your needs and how intuition is guiding you, in body sensation, inner voice, subtle knowings, or insight. And when you follow through with it, you will discover the truth that was there all along. Your sweet self with a big thank you.

Let’s surrender the old expectations of doing, and open up to a new ways of being.

with love,

Brenda